Stylishly Ready: Preparing the Table

Happy Friday, baes! First off, my bad for leaving y’all hanging these past few weeks. I had to take a little time away to reset and refocus. Honestly, I should’ve communicated that sooner — but I’m back now!! Hopefully y’all didn’t miss me too much, lol.

Now, let’s get into this week’s topic.

I often find myself saying, “I’m ready to be married.” And I mean it — mostly because I’m tired of carrying everything on my own. I want my person — a teammate. Someone to do life with. Someone I can count on and come home to after a long day of dealing with the ghettoness of adulthood and humanity.

But just as much as I say “I’m ready to be married,” I also have to ask myself: “Am I actually ready?”

Earlier this week, I was in the shower and randomly thought about a convo I had years ago with a group of guy friends. We were talking about the infamous question: “What do you bring to the table?”

Now, I’ve always felt like I’m a great girlfriend. Any guy would be blessed to have me — period. But during that convo, I started to genuinely reflect on that question. What do I, Azha Moné, bring to the table?

I’ve always been a kind, smart, grounded woman — a solid partner. But I started doubting myself because... I don’t like to cook. And not because I don’t want to — it’s just not something I ever formally learned, and I don’t like doing things I feel I’m not good at.

It made me insecure for a second, like I wasn’t checking all the “good woman” boxes. You hear men say all the time that cooking is a basic requirement. So I felt a little less-than.

But as I’ve grown and continued to learn what it really means to be a woman and a good partner, I’ve realized I actually bring a lot to the table.

I’m a woman of quality.

In no particular order, I’m ambitious, talented, intelligent, kind, gracious, considerate, loving, supportive, and thoughtful. I know how to set goals and how to work toward them. I work hard and don’t give up easily. I’m empathetic, understanding, and maternal.

I have strong morals, values, and beliefs. I’m grounded. I’m a great role model, friend, and leader. I know how to show appreciation. I’m emotionally available, I practice self-awareness, and I try my best to communicate.

I’m loyal, respectful, and resilient. I strive for excellence in everything I do. And most importantly, I operate with the mindset that I’m never done learning. There’s always room to grow and be a better version of myself. That, to me, is what makes a great partner.

Of course, I’m still working on things.

I want to strengthen my financial literacy so I can manage money smarter — to live comfortably and help provide for my future family without financial struggle.

I need to work on my need to be liked by everyone. I’m working to get rid of the people pleasing mindset, which is slowly but surely dissipating.

I’m also working on my mental health. The mind is a very powerful thing. Everything you do stems from what you think. And you can’t be your best self or show up for your partner if you don’t feel your best or can’t show up for yourself. I’m a regular therapy-goer, and it’s really making a difference.

Last but definitely not least, I want to deepen my relationship with God. “Seek ye first, and the rest shall be added unto you.” I truly believe that once I’m fully tapped into Him — understanding His Word and walking in purpose — I’ll be completely unstoppable. Not just for me, but for my future partner and family.

So yes, the cooking thing might be a red flag for some — but I have plenty of green flags. And cooking is a skill I can learn. Plus, when I’m motivated (or in love 😌), I do cook. The right person will inspire me to do so effortlessly.

All this to say: it’s not enough to just say, “I want to be married.” You have to become the kind of person someone can securely and healthily build a life with.

I’m getting myself together, so when God sends me my person... I’ll be ready. Being ready doesn’t mean being perfect — it means being self-aware enough to recognize your patterns, hold yourself accountable, and stay committed to growing with your partner.

Now I want to hear from you. What are you working on to become the partner you want to have? Let’s talk about it—drop a comment or shoot me a DM.

Stylishly yours,

Azha Moné